By Command of Her Royal Highness Mountain Mumma.

Apparently because I've started a blog I think I'm the Queen!!!! Or somebody important or something?!?!? Not a terminal underachiever with an interest in writing and a want of keeping in touch with dear friends and family who do not live locally,  as I had thought. Ha! But what do I know anyway?  I think, certainly to a bystander, there have been many Queen-like qualities to my demeanour over the years...

•  Such as being up to elbows in the droppings of various animals on a daily basis. 
• Or the birth of my first child while the entire staff of Neville Hall came to look at my cervix, including (seemingly) the catering and janitorial staff.
•  Rolling through an enormous stingy nettle patch into a boggy ditch trying to catch a psychotic Goat.
•  Wetting myself every time I sneezed or coughed for two months after the birth of my second child. 
• Traipsing across country in a barely maintained vehicle with two small children to provide personal care for my ever dementing Grandfather.
•  Skinning and gutting the various game that was often for dinner or sorting the various carcasses that came back from the slaughterhouse for customers.
• Getting up at all hours of the night to settle/feed my children and/or goat kids/lambs/puppies/kittens/rabbits kits or whatever other infant animals I've hand reared over the years. 

I think all of these are exceptionally Queenly behaviours. Coupled with the jaunty angle of my wave as I cruise through the local Hamlet, throwing the local peasants a few shekels as I pass. 

"Oh Katherine" They say. "You are indeed a kind and benevolent ruler" Of course they are always careful to never look me directly in the eye.

"Thank you kind subjects" I reply, "Now be gone, your destitution is offensive to my eyes!" And my golden carriage majestically departs.

There's a moral here somewhere, maybe several. 

1) Be kind with your words. You never know how much someone might already be hurting.

2) Be careful with your words. You never know if you have been privy to the whole story.

3)Select your words wisely. The fewer you carelessly throw around, the fewer you might have to choke back down one day.

Right, I'm off to eat some swan and beat my servants with the carcass.

See you later underlings!